What CrossFit doesn't want you to know

Don't worry! This was all an April Fool's joke. 😄


I've previously talked about how misunderstood CrossFit is and the benefits of engaging in strength sports. Today I'd like to ask your forgiveness for deceiving you like this.

You see, in my urge to help the vegan fitness cause I was blinded by the oiled up muscles of team PlantBuilt, seduced by Big Fitness, and drugged by spiked protein shakes. I was so misled that I didn't see the many faults of my ways.

I've since had an epiphany and I'd like to share my enlightenment with you.

What CrossFit doesn't want you to know

Weights are dangerous

How can you think it's a good thing, lifting hundreds of kilos or pressing iron weights above your head? It doesn't make any sense that anyone would willingly subject themselves to such danger.

If I were to rethink my biggest beginner mistakes today, it'd be these:

  • If it's uncomfortable then you're doing something wrong. Training should be delightful!

  • Lifting weights leaves you standing in the same spot, rep after rep. How is that progression?

  • Human DNA is remarkably similar to horses but you never see them lifting weights.

Lifting makes you bulky

There's a good reason why many girls keep away from lifting heavy.

Just because she couldn't leave that barbell laying!

Heavy lifting, complicated diet

In order to fuel a lifting lifestyle you have to think hard about your nutrients and this quickly becomes overwhelmingly complicated.

Should you have creatine for breakfast, or protein for lunch? How do you fit your macros?

So many questions, so much trouble! A horse would never accept this.

How about we simply do something different?

Just prance!

For all the above reasons, plus the ones I'm too embarrassed to talk about, I'm now over CrossFit and heavy lifting. Instead, I'll listen to the voice of my inner horse and prance my way to fitness.

Enter Prancercise!

A springy, rhythmic way of moving forward,similar to a horse’s gait and ideally induced by elation.

If you're serious about making your body a lean, mean, killing machine – you should get onboard too.

So stop talkin' and do some walkin'!